I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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