Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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