Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
