dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
