i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
