ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
