shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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