so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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