Banned from zoo.
Again?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
