Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
