Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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