He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
