I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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