And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
