We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
