Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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