I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
As shirtless as possible
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
