We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize