would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
