No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
