His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
