She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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