Can i not drive my cunt home
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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