Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
