I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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