you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
