yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
