We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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