sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I need water and some morals
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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