Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
the liver wants what the liver wants
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
