Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize