I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
