So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i think i have herpe
just one?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
