I must be too annoying 4 u.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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