so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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