so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
