if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
