Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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