oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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