all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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