I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
farters have to be the big spoon...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
