On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
