You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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