Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
