I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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