that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
