But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
