your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The air was thick with penises
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
