Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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