nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
