That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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