My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize