Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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