I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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