My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
