you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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