We should be called the Road Head Warriors
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
