D3 body, D1 cock
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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