i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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