great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
