I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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