Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
That accounts for only three of the penises
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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