He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
