But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
